Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
