you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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