We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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