Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
