Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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