I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
