Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize