Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
