her vagine was all disorganized.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
