hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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