Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
