I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
