I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
