Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize