Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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