you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We have started to decorate penises.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
