i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
