i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
