This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
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