I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
