You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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