All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
