Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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