I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Come see our sink grown plant.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I die, sorry about rent.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
