Don't you send me to vm
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
