We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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