Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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