Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
