C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
id be glad to
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
