Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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