how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
