He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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