Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
