in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
