Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
