Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We need to rekindle our bromance
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
