took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
