Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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