she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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