i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize