I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
