I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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