and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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