we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
