I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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