Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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