Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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