well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
