dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
