I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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