Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you never un-have a 4some
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
