Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
