Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
