She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
