we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
