This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
