Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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