Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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