Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
