Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
