I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
two words: eviction party
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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