Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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