READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
