The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
