his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
